The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) – 4/5

Same formula, new laughter. They’re back!

„The Twilight Saga: New Moon“ or just „New Moon“ is a live action movie from 2009, so this one is almost 15 years old now and as the title already gives away, this is one of the movies based on Stephenie Meyer’s books. She turns 50 this year, so she was really not old at all back when so many went totally crazy over the Twilight books and movies. I have not read the books, so I cannot elaborate on parallels and differences and I will just share my thoughts about the film. Let’s look at the basics first: This is a really long movie at comfortably over two hours and it is the second film from the franchise. I got the chance to watch this one on the big screen again as it was part of a film vampire series and in terms of the amount of people in the audience, Twilight topped everything else. Both the first and second film were sold out so quickly that they added second screenings. Will be like that for number three too. The people who appreciated Twilight as teenagers carry the franchise still in their hearts it seems or maybe even show the films already to their own kids now. Or just enjoy them from the nostalgia perspective. The director here is Chris Weitz and he was already an Oscar nominee for penning „About a Boy“ before he entered the Twilight universe. The screenplay here does not come from him, but from Melissa Rosenberg, a bit of a fitting name for this schmaltzy franchise, and I am also surprised to read about the television stuff she worked on afterwards. Really adore „Dexter“ for example. So I would not say that her screenplays here prove definite absence of talent. Instead, they are just what audiences wanted to see and what would create the biggest box office.

As for the cast, Kristen Stewart’s and Robert Pattinson’s career triumphs are self-explanatory. They are among the defining actors of their generation and have been part of many high-quality projects since the end of Twilight. The same cannot be said about Taylor Lautner. Anna Kendrick, however, scored an Oscar nomination for „Up in the Air“ (Reitman, Clooney) in 2009, the very same year that „New Moon“ got released, and most people think she finished second in the category. Awards-wise, she was the first from the gang to make an impact, even if her star has faded a bit since then. I like her. Billy Burke I like too. He is always good and almost too talented for this franchise here where he plays the caring father. Nice to see he got his own television show a little later. As for big names, Michael Sheen is new. Not his first werewolf movie. In addition to all of these (except Sheen), most actors from the first film reprised their roles for this sequel from the following year. Now if you look at my rating, then let me tell you that I don’t think this is a high-quality film from any perspective and especially the story is a huge mess at times. However, the one thing this film has is entertainment value. I am sure it was not intended this way, but from today’s perspective this film here is great comedy just like the first. The fact that it takes itself so seriously adds even more fun. Stewart and Pattinson are good actors, already were back then, but not even they could make the ridiculous material feel authentic. Just look at Stewart’s voice-over from the very beginning: It was supposed to be so deeply poetic, but it is full-on pretentious. Nothing her character would ever say realistically. Immediately afterwards we have a scene in which she has a nightmare about how she is really old and Pattinson’s character is still really young and she wakes up and is offended when her dad of course jokes about her first grey hair. That was hilarious. A transition so shoddy that it felt funny how they carried the dream to reality.

This is a perfect way to describe the entire film. There are dozens of examples. One is the inclusion of the Volturi, the kings of vampires. Of course, Edward’s father was with them once and they are instantly ready to have Edward join them. You can also just go there and you immediately get the chance to talk to them. I guess they are close to the people huh? So bizarre. Strangely, they also know Bella’s fate and that she is not dead, but why would they know at all. Or care? This was all pretty ridiculous. So were Bella’s scream attacks when she misses Edward. This was in a way funny from Burke’s perspective when we see him rush upstairs to shelter his daughter, but to me it looked as if his daughter was going insane and he was thinking something along the lines of „oh no, she goes crazy again now, can I not just catch some sleep?“. Of course, this is not how it was meant by Meyer and Rosenberg. But I perceived it like that with his face expression, so more comedy there. The ending adds more strangeness when totally out of nowhere Edward proposes to Bella. What is up with these folks? I mean clearly they wanted a cliffhanger before the closing credits, but at that point they really got rid of all realism whatsoever. We have characters die here too, like take the Black vampire. In the first film, he almost sided with the Cullen gang and here he is the exact opposite? That did not make any sense, also that he acted like a messenger for the female vampire he did not care a lot about in the first film. This female is also briefly a main antagonist, but overall she did not play a central antagonist role as you would have guessed from the ending of the first film. There is not really one true antagonist in here. For me, the antagonist was maybe Taylor Lautner’s Jacob and I won’t hesitate to say he is a definite contender for being the least likable film character of 2009. Is it Lautner’s performance or the character itself? A mix of both. But he was not meant to be seen as unlikable. I still perceived him this way. The movie theater visit was the biggest joke really like how he talked to the other guy there. That shot with both boys ready to take Stewart’s character’s hand was also so gooey.

The only positive thing I can take from all this was how nice it felt to see her reject him all the time. By the way, that old Indian is Lautner’s character’s father or uncle or something or even another generation above, but there is no further elaboration on that like I would have thought people mourn there, but the way this old man hid his folks‘ traces was also on the funny side. Besides, Lautner’s character said on occasion that it is a rarity for a boy to turn into a wolf, but there were really many exceptions, weren’t there? I mean the wolves still looked pretty cool and all. I would not have objected to this film getting a visual effects Oscar nomination. Speaking of visual effects, this film is from the same year as „Avatar“. Just saying. Overall, the cringe is permanent. I just guess this is much easier to enjoy on the big screen, especially with many others around you laughing so hard here. The moment when Lautner’s character takes off his shirt was hilarious as well. In my screening, audiences thought it was even funnier how he ran away every time he left Bella. There were other dog references like a certain smell or the character being called a mutt. I did not talk a lot about Pattinson’s character yet. This is because he is out of the film for a long time, especially with focus on Jacob. And when Edward is there, he isn’t any good, like how he keeps watching Bella and always shows up when she is in danger, so as a consequence, as she wants to see him, she turns into an adrenaline junkie. Ridiculous stuff. Of course, with the romance they go all in again as there is not only the marriage proposal, but letting Bella go we find out was also the toughest thing he ever did and he also tells her that he will always love her, even if she is 80 and looks like 80, but if Bella thinks he won’t love her anymore then, then she is oh so wrong of course and simply has not understood his deep feelings.

Also Pattinson’s character is a tortured beau (yep!) who once had suicidal thoughts and now again as he wants the Volturi to take his life because he misses Bella. She is also so special that their powers don’t work on her. When I heard their home is called „Volterra“, I had to laugh too. Besides, did I get it right in the end that the Volturi offer guided tours for tourists and then kill them and drink the blood? Yeah, I am sure the tourists‘ families and police never had any issue with that. They were also nowhere when big mysterious creatures in the woods showed up. Or wait, all the police action here is on Bella’s dad’s shoulders it seems. One man army. Jacob’s character is also not new anymore, like it is basically a copy of the first film and Bella’s encounter with Edward. There is potential romance, but the guy is a monster in disguise and also worried he could hurt Bella if they get too close. Only Bella’s feelings differ when it comes to the two men. Oh yeah, let’s add another funny scene, namely when Bella cuts herself and starts bleeding. This is included in every single Nosferatu/Dracula film. Here one of the Cullen vampires goes crazy and cannot hold himself back, but the others protect Bella. Violence is never crucial, also not during the scene when the wolves kill their prey. Of course, they had to pay attention to the rating. Younger girls were always the target audience. Okay, I think you get the point now. A hundred more examples I could mention here why this is such a ridiculous film and yet fascinating at the same time with immense rewatch value from the comedy perspective. This is why I would say it is not one of the best films from 2009, but definitely one that needs to be seen. Already because, like it or not, „Twilight“ is among the defining phenomena of movie pop culture from the 21st century. I have a feeling this will be shown many more times in movie theaters again in the next few years. The lead duo’s success surely helps in that regard as well. I myself give this second Twilight film an enthusiastic thumbs-up.