Bullet Train (2022) – 4/5

Very fast and very funny

„Bullet Train“ is a really new 2022 movie and a co-production between the United States and Japan, which makes total sense because the latter is where the film is set and there are also a few Asian actors and characters in here and the American impact is just as undeniable if you look at lead actor Brad Pitt and the people who made this film most of all. With that I mean mostly director David Leitch who is surely more famous than his writer Zak Olkewicz here and I am a bit surprised to see somebody with not too much experience in charge of penning the screenplay here, but I am happy for him at the same time because I think the screenplay was really really good and entertaining, so quite nice that he has a breakthrough here. However, the balance is also there because the base material for this film comes from Japanese writer Kôtarô Isaka. Antoine Fuqua is a producer, Pitt is not this time. With the cast, they really made sure nobody stole too much spotlight from Pitt, but I’m fine with that. Almost all shone in their own ways still. And they are clearly not nobodies. Television fans for example will be happy about the inclusion for the female character with the most screen time here Joey King (reminded me a bit of the young Evan Rachel Wood), who is much more attractive in general than in this film. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a recent Golden Globe winner and Brian Tyree Henry has also appeared in some pretty famous movies. The Asian actors in here, Koji and Sakada, have starred in successful Hollywood films in the past, so they are also not nobodies. Surely not a nobody is Sandra Bullock who you hear via phone throughout the movie and then in the end she shows up in person. That was honestly maybe the weakest moment from the film that she had to be there all of a sudden. It did not fit. It was just because she was Sandra Bullock and nothing else, also how Pitt’s character praises her that he never talked to a better instructor etc. And she knows it all like how he should take the gun etc. But I think I would have enjoyed this film more without Sandy B. But then again I have never been a fan of hers anyway, so definitely not unbiased here. She made the film worse in the end as her performance was such nothingness too.

Okay, back to the more positive aspects now: There was really so, so much in these over 120 minutes that made me smile or even laugh. Impossible to mention every single snippet. I also thought the dialogue writing was especially nice and witty. Just as fast as the film itself. We have had a snowpiercer train and now we have a Japanese super fast train and bullet could not be a more fitting name with all that happens throughout this movie. Of course, this is not a film you want to watch if you are looking for edge-of-seat realism whatsoever because this you are not getting here. Like there is no way somebody could have survived everything that Pitt’s character went through here, the close combat scenes, when he gets stabbed, the poison moment, but also during these flashbacks when he gets shot twice by another character and still made it out of Joburg alive back then. Alive in Joburg. Props if you get the reference. Or that somebody buys every single seat in a train. Or also how the Black guy and the younger Asian literally come back to life towards the end when the gang does not fight each other anymore, but the situation makes it necessary for them to gang up against the White Death. That one is not portrayed by a Japanese actor as you would have guessed, but on board here is Oscar nominee Michael Shannon. He is also one I always appreciate when he is in a movie. Been a while since I saw him in something and he has aged a bit (of course his character is rather old too), but definitely a welcome inclusion here once again. The most memorable moment is in a negative sense this Russian roulette scene that should have been left out and in a neutral sense probably how his character dies, now that was massive, also the most violently graphic moment from this film and there have been many, so it means something. Also a bit ironic that the one who prepared the gun that killed him was his daughter. I wonder if after knowing the story and that he did not care one bit for his dead son, she still wanted him dead or saw him in a different light.

Oh I must just mention one hilarious moment there in the end, namely the „another brother“ scene. That was so funny how the movie made fun of films with too happy endings really. How the Black guy screams out a negative response after leading Pitt’s character on for a moment. Brian Tyree Henry had also some of the film’s funniest moments like the „conversation“ in the silent segment of the train, the constant Thomas the Tank Engine references or also small moments like the puppet show or when he is looking for the suitcase and kinda fitting he also gets the last scene of the film during the closing credits. Just him. Two more males I have to mention here: First would be Channing Tatum. His turn is more of a cameo here. I think he was seen in total three times only and very briefly, but still brought a good laugh for me like with his character’s somewhat gay undertone and especially what he asks Pitt’s character early on and the silence afterwards. Very nice. The second is musician Bad Bunny and this was a bit of a transition to movies for him. I am not familar with his music or what I listened to I did not like particularly (wasn’t a lot), but here he is alright. Of course, they made sure his screen time and character are also very limited and more physical than really in need of high-quality acting. But his fans have an extra reason to watch this film, especially for the flashback sequence. These flashbacks I liked quite a bit here, also the scene with the two brothers watching football or the scenes with the Hornet and Pitt’s character there in another country. And all the others too, also the one with the hospital that was not a flashback, but happened at the same time like the action in the train. As for Bad Bunny’s character, he dies quickly and the reason is his own weapon. It was funny how Pitt’s character disposed of him there and it’s by far not the only occasion on which a dead character is disposed of there in a way where nobody recognizes that they are deceased. Pitt’s character even puts a second corpse there next to Bad Bunny’s character’s corpse later on, so yeah the dead people surely were accumulating as the film went on.

Before the film I was a bit worried that maybe there would simply be too many characters in here as the trailer looked packed, but they really found a nice solution there. Some characters, like Bad Bunny’s or the one Bad Bunny’s is actually looking for, are killed really quickly and still their scenes and characters were somewhat memorable. It also all makes kinda sense and the circle is complete when we realize who killed White Death’s son or why Bad Bunny’s character would try to kill Pitt’s character. I was wondering for a second why Pitt survived the snakebite, but then it made total sense with the antidote still in his veins. You’d always wonder who the deadly snake would kill, but the answer is nobody. Instead, it is just another victim and this also resulted in some comedy with the words Pitt’s character puts on the toilet. Or another very brief moment I have to mention is the „You’re excused“ (I shall spare you the vulgarity there to get my review accepted) as I have loved using this phrase for a long time too. Without the obscene word in the middle. In order to find weaknesses I have not mentioned yet (Bullock), I have to dig fairly deep here. I think that the final sequences with how the assassins stand up against Shannon’s character were just so-so in terms of writing, probably would have been worse without Shannon still and really I only mention this because all before that was so great and this was just okay. I did not like how Pitt’s character kinda sacrificed himself there almost. A bit too much action focus then too when the train crashes. The lemon (plus tangerine) joke was not really a success and a bit overused. A very brief utterly negative moment that caught my attention was when we see a character point a gun at another. I think it was between Pitt and Henry. The gun was clearly in different positons there in terms of the angle. That looked amateurish and somebody should have seen it. Oh well, luckily the rest of the film was not one bit amateurish, but such convincingly entertaining action comedy writing. Pretty much every cast member is in the category where you will recognize their faces, but not immediately remember their names. Except Pitt of course, who looks great for almost 60, real tinsel angel here!

I am surely surprised and it also makes me a bit sad to see that this film did not get the critics‘ approval in general. Audiences love(d) it (much) more overall, which is no surprise, but I honestly did not think the critics reception would be this sobering. I definitely had a really, really fun time watching this film as you can see from my rating. I would certainly not say this film is the very best I watched in 2022, but it is among the best and will stay there probably for several months, maybe even until the end of the year. I will just mention a few more inclusions that I liked until the end of the review now: Pitt’s character’s ticket struggles, the ladybug (bad) luck explanation, Ryan Reynolds having only one moment (Deadpool connection with Leitch presumably, but Tatum’s cameo was so much better), many of the Asia references like also one assassin’s costume. How Pitt’s character simply cannot find a way to get out of the train. It was a running gag already. The conflict between the brothers about how many people they killed on an earlier mission. Another great flashback this was. Joey King (nice to see she got second credit, it really could have gone to anybody). That is all. A must-see.